Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
