i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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