Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
