am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
