He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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