i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
