Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
