my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
