Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
