why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
