Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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