connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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