Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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