a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Randomize
