What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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