we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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