Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
