is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
