I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
