Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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