nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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