I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
