I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
This toilet bowl is my home.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
