I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
