You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
