this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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