Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I could make wine with my vomit
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
