her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
