i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
where does the pee come out of this thing
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
