How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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