***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
