You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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