This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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