I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
