So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He did a backflip because drugs
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
