addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
