I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
