Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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