To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
