OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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