Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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