If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
