I wish i was in the wii world.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
