you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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