Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
