So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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