We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize