Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
