Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
