i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
