hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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